Identity & Well-Being: Blog 3

This week I decided it was time to take on the challenge and go bowling alone. When I arrived at the bowling alley, I found myself sitting in the parking lot debating if I really wanted to do it or not. I think it can be hard for anyone to do things that are normally done within a group alone. Quite honestly, if this wasn't for a class I don't know if I would have gotten myself to go in. Once I finally got enough courage to actually get inside, I realized that it really wasn't that bad. Considering, I was bowling by myself I decided to use the time to work on things that I have been having trouble with. One of the hardest parts for me is choosing a ball weight. While I usually just grab the prettiest ball and call it good. This time I decided I would actually take the time to find out which ball weight was best for me. I played three different games and went up in weight every game. I started with a 10-pound ball and went up a single pound each game. Through this, I played my best game with the 11-pound ball. I actually even broke 100 which is not normal for me. Overall, I would say that this week went really well for me. 

In class this week we talked about well-being. I realized that for the longest time, I was portraying my well-being in bowling through occupational performance. I was so focused on the fact that I wasn't performing well when engaging in this occupation that I felt it diminished my well-being. This time around with bowling, I am truly seeing my well-being occur through the occupational engagement side. I am more interested in engaging in bowling because of the family/friend atmosphere it can bring. I realized this at the bowling alley last week. It was just me and a family a few lanes down. I watched as the dad recorded his kids every time they bowled. It was then that I realized this family was here for the engagement not for the performance. Which was what it always should have been for me. The more I focus on occupational engagement within bowling I start to see it change my well-being within the occupation. 

Hasselkus and Murray talked about the correlation between occupational well-being and self-identity. Throughout my new occupation, I have truly begun to see this correlation come to light. Before, when someone suggested going bowling I immediately knew I didn't want to go because of my occupational performance. Knowing I would not have fun because I was no good at the occupation made me feel disappointed in myself. This affected my self-identity. As I have started to look at my occupational well-being through occupational engagement, I have started to be okay with learning the sport and not being good. I have watched how this has improved my well-being as well as truly amplified my self-identity. I truly think that there are always going to be occupations that we simply are not good at, but when you look at them through the engagement and the opportunities that come with them your well-being will always be impacted for the better. 

My first game with the 10 lb ball. 

My second and best game with the 11 lb ball.

My last game with the 12 lb ball.

Reference:

Hasselkus, B. R., & Murray, B.J. (2007). Everyday occupation, well-being and identity: The experience of caregivers in families with dementia. American Journal of Occupational Therapy, 61 (9-20). 

Identity of Self: Blog 2

I have been asking myself a lot recently why I chose an occupation that I have never been interested in. I could have chosen something that I could easily do without any resistance, but instead, I chose bowling... why? When considering this question with my ongoing formation of identity I realized that my identity and perception of self has a lot to do with my new occupation. Self-Knowledge is the concept of how one describes oneself. This concept of self-knowledge made me realize that I would describe myself as an open-minded, family-oriented, and determined person. My concept of self is exactly why I choose bowling as my occupation. I wanted to be able to be open-minded about getting back into something I didn't necessarily like in the past. My value of quality time with my family also played a big part in this considering that they love to bowl and I often miss out on the opportunity to spend time with them because I don't know how to bowl. I come from a very competitive family whether it is Yahtzee, cornhole, or seeing how many grapes one can eat we are competing. In the past, I think that my fear of messing up my identity by not being good at something stopped me from bowling. When I think about this I get a little disappointed in myself that I would let something so small stop me from participating in what I am learning is a fairly fun sport.

    With these concepts in mind, I decided that this was the week that I would finally break the streak and walk back into a bowling alley. I knew I couldn't do this alone, so I contacted my high school friend Rachel. Rachel is what you would call a bowling expert. She competes in a traveling league and owns all her own equipment. I will be completely honest when I first walked into the bowling alley I got a little intimidated when she pulled out her shoes and ball. I started to question why I would ask the best bowler I know to participate in my occupation which I haven't done in years. I decided instead of worrying about the small things like doing bad or embarrassing myself; I would focus on enjoying myself in the moment and learning as much from her as I possibly could. I ended up having a lot of fun and actually even beat my highest score which is so low I think my unborn niece could beat it, but this leaves a lot of room for improvement. I learned that bowling with a friend made me feel a lot more comfortable and less resentful to get there. However, one of my biggest goals this semester is to bowl alone. I think I will learn a lot about myself doing this. 

    My past, my present, and my future truly shape my occupational biography. Growing up I was heavily involved in sports. Playing sports truly shaped me into the person I am today. Like most people, when I stopped playing sports my sense of "self" was definitely at risk. However, I am realizing that by adding occupations where I can still feel the aspects of competition and challenge I am filling in that void that I felt for a long time. Our occupations define our occupation biography. While playing basketball, volleyball, etc. outlined the start of my journey... I am glad to start learning an occupation that not only can continue to shape my occupational biography but that my knees can handle as well. 

I totally forgot to take pictures, but enjoy this photo of Rachel's bowling league after they won in Las Vegas... because impressive!

References: 

Raanaas, Ruth Kjaersti., Lund, Anne., Sveen, Unni., & Asbjornslett, Monda. (2019) Re-creating self-identity and meaning through occupations during expected and unexpected transitions in life, Journal of Occupational Science, 26(2), 211-218, DOI: 10.1080-14427591.2019.1592011

From a Space to a Place Blog #1

 If I am being completely honest, the thought of changing my new occupation has crossed my mind one too many times. However, I am bound and determined to give bowling the effort that I gave up on so long ago. You see, bowling and I, we have a history. We used to meet on Tuesday nights for the dreaded small-town bowling league. My mother would play with her teammates, while my brothers and I had our own lane off to the side. While they had the times of their lives, I was in a personal battle figuring out how one could make the heavy ball go anywhere but the gutter lane. To my family, the bowling alley was a place. A place where they had fun and exciting experiences playing their favorite game. To me, the bowling alley was an empty room with only me, a ball, and a gutter lane. 

Through our recent reading, I realized that the bowling alley has always been a space for me. It was a space that I never felt welcomed me. A space that seemed to be a container of experiences for everyone else but me. I first worried that this would affect my engagement with my new occupation. However, I now have decided to look at the bowling alley through a different lens. The bowling alley was always a place for me. It was a place where my family got to be together. A place where we experienced being active and having fun. A place where we laughed... even if it was at all my gutter balls. Through my experience in relearning my most dreaded occupation; I want to reframe the thought of the bowling alley just being a space. I want to experience this occupation with the open mind that it is and always will be a place for me, but this time maybe I can keep a few more balls in the lanes. 

The first thing I knew I needed to do before giving bowling a fair shot was to look into bowling shoes. I remember never particularly enjoying the feeling of rented bowling shoes, and I do have a minor shopping addiction. Therefore, I knew that with new shoes I would be excited to try out my new occupation. I order bowling shoes from Amazon, and they should be here within a week. I am excited to try them out because I feel like it will get me into the bowling alley in the first place. One might think that this assignment should be enough to get me into the bowling alley, but they do not understand how long I have been avoiding any building with "bowling" in the title. 

While I was waiting for my shoes, I decided that it might be helpful to get some tips from the professionals. Therefore, I went to YouTube. I watched videos on better ways to hold the ball and the basics of the approach. Turns out that throwing the ball from in between your legs isn't the most recommended option. I am excited to get my new shoes and try out the new tips next week at the bowling alley. Wish me luck!

My new kicks!